Make Murder Safe and Legal

By Gonzo Williams Running for President (aka Elizabeth Correa)

09-18-2005

My fellow Americans, Today I am speaking to you to about something close to my heart. Every day on the news they show violent murders against our fellow Americans. Our people are getting butchered in the most inhuman way. Why does this happen in the 21^st Century?

This is why I am running a new campaign for the legalization of murder. You might be thinking to yourself, “Why would we want to do that??” I am glad you asked. If we legalize murder, then doctors can handle the murder with the latest painless technologies. This will keep our citizens from showing up on the news covered in blood and gore. Our country should seriously think about our image. These murders today are the same kind that have been happening since the stone age.

Everyone has his or her own reasons for murder. They might want to remove a nemesis or rival, or someone who is just inconvenient to them, such as a adult child still living at home. All these are valid reasons which people murder for regularly, I just want to stop the Stone Age techniques. Even though it is currently illegal, murder still happens, so why not just make it SAFE?

I promise all of you, if you support this I promise to make Murder Safe and Legal!