Uterine Manifesto

Chapter 1

Carrie was determined not to throw the book in her hand at Fernando, but she knew she would lose the battle against herself. She got up and left the café. Fernando, her roommate, continued to talk to his cohorts. As she walked out the door she heard him say, “Men and woman are exactly the same. The fact that men can’t have children is just a small bump on the road to equality. One-day men will also have children and there will be one sex. No more stereotypes. No more ridicule.”

Carrie went back to the lab and searched the Internet for some idea for her dissertation. The medical news was old news. She had read the articles over and over searching for some inspiration. Opening the MS Word file with the title “Reproductive Dissertation Ideas.doc,” she began typing random thoughts.

New cloning techniques.

Rejuvenating old Eggs.

Men cannot have children.

Then she stopped. Fernando popped back in her mind. Fernando was one of the silliest men she had ever met. He constantly raved about the unfairness of the female being allowed to give birth while the male had to sit idly by and watch. They had been roommates for a few months now and he had familiarized her with his philosophy on life. He believed that he was asexual. Meaning he did not prefer one sex over the other, but only believed in love. He believed the way to world peace is thru the removal of gender differences. He wanted a new type of human: a homogeneous race of single sex and self propagating creatures who do not use each other to continue their own line of genes.

One day when he was telling her about the reproductive equality of men and woman she interrupted him and said, “Do you really believe all this crap or are you for real?” “I am for real.” He said.

Carrie did not care whatsoever about having children. But she did care about being successful in her reproductive field of medicine. People often asked her why she picked the reproductive field; she answered, “Because there is lots and lots of money in it.” Carrie was always upfront and honest. Fernando told her she lacked social skills. Frankly, she didn’t even understand the idea of social skills. She was obstinate in her pursuit of success, and she would use anyone and anything she could to achieve it.

She typed, “uterus transplant” into google.com and started reading the latest developments.

Chapter 2

“Fernando, I have a proposal for you.” Carrie said when Fernando walked in. They were both graduate students at USF. He was also trying to find a subject for a dissertation. His field was not precisely medical. He focused on the metaphysical relationship between men and woman in relation to child bearing.

“Carrie, I had the most delightful talk with a student from Deutschland today. He is fighting for male reproduction rights back in his homeland. It was encouraging to talk to a fellow metasexual.”

“Fernando, this proposal is right up your alley.” She said.

“Ok. Make it fast because I am going to have dinner with the group from physiques unlimited in 20.” He said.

“Our fields are closely related. Mine dealing with the medical, and yours dealing with the metaphysical.” She said. He nodded. She continued, “What if we collaborated on a dissertation?”

“Work with you on something? You hate my guts, and I am not so fond of yours.” He said shaking his shoulder length curly black locks.

“Who cares how we feel about each other. This idea is so big that it will put us both on the map. So are you listening?”

“Fine. Tell me” he said and sat on a barstool in the kitchen.

“What if we transplanted a uterus on a man and impregnated himself with his own sperm.” She said.

“What? That’s insane for a lot of reasons. First off, where are we going to find someone to do that? You are talking about a dangerous medical procedure. The risks involved are so high. This is just a dissertation. Who would risk it?” he said.

“Just think of the benefits. A man could have a child all by himself with out having to be bothered with getting to know a woman. He could raise a child all his own with out having to share it with anyone else. He could teach the child his own values. I know someone who would love to do that. Someone who loves babies and never stops talking about how much he wants one.” She said. She was pacing up and down the small kitchen rapidly.

“Excuse me?” he said.

“That’s right, Fernando. You.”

“No way in hell. I am not crazy.”

“Yes you are, but that’s not the point. If you don’t honestly sit down and just consider it then I know you are a total hypocrite and that everything you tote in that café is total crap. And I am going to go tell all your stupid friends how duplicitous you are. No one will ever come over to your ‘cause’ once they know that you wouldn’t even try to make a difference for it.”

“I do believe it, but this is uncharted territory. It would be so dangerous, not to mention expensive. This would be a life long change for me.”

“You are right. And it’s exactly what you have been begging for. You want the right to bear a child. Well I am offering it to you. And speaking of the expensive, I met with the grant board today about it and they told me if I can produce a test subject then they will give me the money to do it.” She said. Fernando sat there thinking. She stopped pacing and sat down next to him. She could barely breathe. Everything rested on him accepting. She knew his buttons and she had pushed them in the right order. She could tell he was seriously considering it.

She waited. Then she said, “You can write your dissertation on what it is like to give life to a child. You can explain the implications of a single sex reproductive unit. The possibilities are endless. You will be the most famous man on earth. And your message of ‘equality’ will reach the masses.” She knew that the last bit would push him over the edge. He dreamed of making everyone aware of his ideas and would explain them to anyone he met. He wore a sheepishly smile, which looked funny on him since he was usually direct and brave.

“Can you imagine?” he said.

“No, who can?” she said.

“I can. I imagine my baby kicking and I can feel it from the inside.” He said.

Carrie smiled victoriously. She had just won the first huge battle in her fight for a name for herself.

Chapter 3

Carrie and Fernando began searching for a donor. They found one named Lynn. A twenty-four year old soldier was shot in the Iraqi war. As she was lying in the arms of one of her fellow soldiers she had the following conversation:

“Sam, I am dying.”

“No your not Lynn. You gonna be fine girl.”

“No, Sam. I have to tell you something very important before I die. You gotta do this one thing for me. Promise Sam.”

“Your not gonna die.”

“Shut up and promise me you idiot.”

“Ok Ok, what.”

“I have always wanted to have a child. Promise me you will make sure my womb is donated to someone who will have a baby for me.”

“What kinda a crap is that?”

“Promise me. I am dying here! You moron.”

“ok ok, I promise.”

“Thank you.” With that she passed out and went into a comma. Sam did his best. He saw to it that she was returned home and informed her husband of her promise. She was brain dead for a few months before she was pronounced dead. Her husband had informed the doctors of her unusual request. They complied. Carrie and Fernando got their uterus and Fernando went under the knife.

Chapter 4

The operation went according to plan and with no complications. Within eight months Fernando had a fully functioning uterus implanted. They waited a very long time to be sure that it was secure and that his body did not reject it. Then after eight months of careful preparation, they were ready to impregnate him.

The procedure was successful. Fernando was going to be a mother. Fernando was also to be the proud father. Carrie delighted in every detail.

A couple of months down the line the donor’s husband showed up with a custody lawsuit. “I believe that I should be able to help raise the child since it is my wife is the mother.” He claimed.

“You have no rights. You are not the father.” Fernando told him in court.

They fought it out in court and Fernando won full custody.

Chapter 5

After the Lynn’s husband lost his court case, the Church of Holier Ones brought a lawsuit against Fernando saying that he was defying God’s natural laws and therefore the State of Florida laws. Carrie and Fernando were sitting in the courtroom.

“The baby just kicked.” Fernando said touching his enlarged belly with his hand. He moved Carrie’s hand to feel it also. She smiled. The case was thrown out and the two went back to the apartment.

They went for walks in the park. No one thought anything of the man with a large abdomen. Carrie pointed to birds and Fernando looked. They smiled and were happy.

Three months into the pregnancy Fernando started to have sever pain in his lower back. Then he couldn’t move. Carrie rushed him to the hospital. She was very concerned. The doctors checked him with the ultrasound. They found that the baby was growing in the wrong direction and that he was pressed against Fernando’s spine. The doctors conferred and decided that if the baby didn’t move then they would have to operate. Carrie was at the point of tears with thinking of the disaster that operating might cause: it would tear the delicate lining of the womb, it would injure the baby, it would hurt Fernando. The doctors put him under sedation. She sat by his bed watching him drift in and out of consciousness. She thought about the baby. She realized that it was a person in there. Someone who would grow up and have hopes and dreams just like she did. The person might invent the cure for cancer or create world peace. The person was just like her but it was helpless and totally dependent on her and Fernando to take care of him. When she saw it this way she became scared and didn’t want that kind of responsibility. She was afraid she wasn’t up to the job. Up till just now she had thought of this as her road to fame and glory. Not as creating another life, another life who would be her responsibility. She wasn’t sure how to deal with this all the sudden. She sat there looking at the sleeping Fernando. They had both given up a lot already to give this child life. She wondered how much more they would have to give up. At the same time she realized how worthwhile it was. She realized that no matter what she needed to protect the child. She felt very close to him.

Chapter 6

“Love is a choice. Love is an action. Did you know that?” Fernando asked Carrie one morning when he was seven months along. He was lying in bed, and a yellow crust was from the corner of his lips to the pillow. Black hair lay on the pillow. Sandy sleep filled his eyes making opening them uncomfortable. Carrie looked down on him and smiled. She went on fixing his blankets.

“Tell me more about what love is.” She said playfully. The clock read 6:00 AM.

“Love is what allows a human to identify with another human. It is the means, the medium, and the process, which allows one human to connect to another. It is a joining of interests. Love is accepting another human. Accepting them, for who they are, not who you want them to be. It is seeing a person in all their filth and retched and still caring about them.” He said.

Carrie smiled more and went into the bathroom. “I am listening” she called.

“Love is going the extra mile. Love is doing the unexpected. Love is not making the other person feel like they are a burden.” He said.

She came back in the bedroom with a washcloth in her hand. She wiped his eyes and face down. The soft cloth warmed his skin, and then as the air evaporated the water his skin became cold.

“Love is giving and never expecting anything in return.” He continued gazing at her. As his skin dried it became tight and he opened his eyes wider.

“What do you think about love?” he asked.

“I think love sucks.” She said and she touched his swollen abdomen. The baby moved, and she smiled.

“Why do you think that?” he asked.

“Love over takes a person and they are a victim. They can do nothing about it but sit around and wish it would go away. There is no pain like love.”

“That’s not love. That is the insecurity that comes from an emotion filled heart. A burdened soul who is lost in a midnight of fear and pain. You suffered because your boyfriend left you.”

“Yes, but it has happened to me before. It was something uncontrollable, a passion which one moment would be exhilarating and the next an excruciating flow thru the blood and stomach. Only longing to feel nothing, but at the same time it was almost fun. Love was something wonderful yet horrible. Is that not love?” she said still touching his stomach.

“No, that’s only emotion. Love is not an emotion. Love is sometimes accompanied by emotion, but should never be confused with emotion. Emotions are very hard to control. Emotions are responses to evaluations of situations. They can be controlled, but it takes discipline. Most people wouldn’t want to control their emotions even if they were offered a chance to. Emotions should never be the basis of decisions; only reason should be. But you have to be very careful, many times emotions will make you create reasons. You need to step back and decide what is important then evaluate the situation correctly in light of your goals. Then your emotions will follow your lead if you are completely convicted that your decision is the right one. If any doubt remains then your emotions will remain opposed to your will. If you can learn how to do this then you will never be a victim of anything or anyone, not even your self.”

“That sounds cold hearted.” She said sitting back and looking at him thru squinted eyes.

“Why? Is it because I decide who to love instead of letting my emotions decide? Is it better to be an animal or a human? What is it about humans that make us different than the animals?” He asked.

“We are different than the animals because we have free will and don’t rely on instinct.” She replied.

“Right, we use reason instead of impulses to tell us how to live. Humans can decide what to do. If they decide that a particular person is suited to themselves then why can they not choose to love that person and there for have emotion for them?” he said.

“It just seems wrong. It seems inhuman. It seems machine like.”

“Is being the victim of our lusts and being married for 4 or 5 years then ‘falling in love’ again with another person seem more human? I have heard those who tell us that monogamy is old fashion because our instincts don’t support it. Humans make a choice. If they choice to let their bodies take control and let the animal instinct roam free then isn’t that just reverting back to apes? Shouldn’t mankind be proud of fidelity and monogamy as proof that we have evolved? We should be proud that we don’t give in to ever desire that we have, every impulse that comes to us, every craving that creeps into our mind. We should glory in the humanity of being married for 50 years. We should celebrate each day that we distinguish ourselves from apes.” He said.

“That is interesting, but what about emotion. How does it work into all this? What if someone is married to someone and they just can’t stand them? What if everything that person does is inane and stupid? How can they still love them when they feel nothing?” she asked.

“Love is a choice. If someone chooses to love a person then they won’t think everything that person does is stupid. They will love those things. It’s interesting the way our emotions taint things. For instance, a man means a woman and for the first 6 months that they date he thinks the way she slurps her soda is terribly cute. Then they get disconnected because they get bored of each other. Their relationship isn’t as fun as it was in the beginning. Now when he hears her slurp her soda he gets annoyed. Those little things that begin to annoy a person are only because the person has changed their attitude. The emotions taint the events.” He said.

“So how does a couple keep emotions from tainting their relationship?” She said.

“A couple can keep anything from destroying their bond by working at the relationship. It just takes some effort, maybe even a lot of effort. It’s work, not emotion. Keeping things open and not letting things get buried. Often things will happen and the couple will not address them. These events are evaluated and emotions are generated. If the couple suppresses the emotions and they pretend like everything is fine then the emotions will get bigger and bigger. It’s better to deal with things when they happen and never suppress the emotions generated. The emotions aren’t wrong, but the evaluations might be.” He said.

“It does sound like a lot of work.” She said.

“Yes, but it is worth it.” He said.

She smiled and said, “I’ll go get you some breakfast. I’ll think about what you said.”

Chapter 7

Fernando had to stay in bed for the last 4 months because his body wasn’t made to hold the weight. Not only did his body change. He also had lots of mental changes as well. He had lots of mood swings and crying bouts, but thru it all Carrie was by his side helping him. She always remained ice cold, yet there was something almost caring in her which he had not seen before.

It was her full time job to take care of him when the doctor wasn’t there. One day she was fixing him something to eat.

“I feel something for you, Fernando.” She said as she brought in the tray of food to his bed.

“Really?” he said.

“Yes, I have never felt like this about anyone before.”

“What do you feel?” he asked.

“I think I like you.”

“Uh what?” he said puzzled.

“Yeah, I mean you sure you say a lot of really stupid things. But I think I actually like you. And I don’t like anyone. I really am not sure why I like you. Do you like me too?”

“Well I did.” He said frowning and disappointed.

“Really? Why not anymore?” she said.

“Because of what you just said.” He said.

“How could my telling you that I like make you not like me?” she said.

“You are so socially inept. I was hoping you were going to tell me that you loved me. Not that you liked me.” He said.

“Loved??? Are you kidding me?” she said.

“Whatever. Thanks for the food.” He said.

“No. Talk to me.” She said not leaving the edge of his bed.

“I think that you should love me. Have you ever loved anyone?”

Carrie sat and frowned. “Yeah, I did. He was a med student with me a few years ago. He dumped me cuz he said I wasn’t smart enough for him. Every day I spend all my energy to prove him wrong. He will realize one day how great I am along with the rest of the world.” She got a far off look in her eye as she gazed out the window.

“I am having our baby,” He said.

“I guess you are.” She said still looking away.

“Oh.” He said. “I love you.”

“Don’t talk to me like that. I don’t have time for it. I am going to check the results of your blood samples down at the lab and then finish up these reports. I’ll be back for dinner.”

Chapter 8

“So are you ready to have our baby?” Carrie asked as she helped Fernando dress the morning of their scheduled c-section.

“He is ready to come out and play.” He said.

They left for the hospital at 8am to get prepped for the operation at 10am. There were many reporters when their arrived. Fernando waved at them as Carrie pushed him forward in his wheel chair. Inside the hospital all the doctors seem excited.

Two hours later Fernando was in the operating room. They cleaned, cut, then sewed him. The child, male, brown eyes, brown hair, was disentangled, cut, cleaned, measured, clothed, poked. Carrie watched as the baby was lifted out of the small incision. The medical nature of the procedure prevented any emotions but amazement. When the baby had been processed, she was able to get close to him. She gave him her finger and he latched on.

“Would you like to feed him?” the nurse asked her.

“Yes.” Carrie replied.

Holding the fragile infant in her quivering arms sent a mixture of excitement alternating with fear down her spine. Once she got the hang of holding him, the nurse gave her the bottle. The puffy red cheeks, the thin red lips, the little tiny fingers, the active little arms moving quickly in the air, the small feet pointing outward, she took it all in as he sucked gently on the nipple. This was to be her child. This is the child she helped to make. She suddenly needed to see Fernando.

“Can I take him to see Fernando?” she asked the nurse.

“He is just coming out of post op, but he is still sedated.” The nurse replied.

The nurse led her thru the halls till they came to the room. Fernando was sleeping peacefully. The mound was gone. The nurse left and she was alone with the two of them. She felt a burning in her chest. Tears started to run down her cheeks. The biggest smile she ever wore came out and she looked back and forth between the two men she, just now realizing it, she loved.

Fernando opened his eyes, “How is he?”

“He is fine.” She held him up. “He is having his first meal outside. Would you like to hold him?”

“Yes” he said and she gently gave the baby to him.

“What shall we name him?” she asked.

“Bartholomew.” Fernando said.

“Good.” She said.

The baby looked right at home in Fernando’s arms. Carrie sitting on the edge of the bed when she whispered to Fernando, “I love you.”

He looked up at her smiling. “I love you too.” He said, and she kissed him.

Chapter 9

When they let Fernando go home there was much rejoicing. They had kept him a little longer than usual to make sure everything inside was healing properly. After a week he was able to walk around normally only complaining of slight soreness when asked. Bartholomew was a very healthy child, along with a good set of lungs. They shared the responsibility of feeding him and changing his diapers.

Things settled down and they got into the routine of getting him to sleep. They started to get their notes organized and sorting them out. Then they combined them the notes into a comprehensive scrapbook from which they worked on their individual dissertations. The work might have been tedious but instead they did it with the vigor of school children in am amusement park.

Their professors received the papers with high acclaim. Carrie received her PhD’s reproductive medicine, and Fernando received his in the psychology of reproduction. To celebrate the graduation, they got married in a garden on a bright spring morning. There family, friends, and the doctors they had become close during the pregnancy came to celebrate with them.

Bartholomew also smiled and laughed during the ceremony. The three of them lived happily ever after.

The End